Writing the other day about how to handle fear through Taoism really did have a nice effect on me. My surgery is 4 days away, I feel a pressure building, but at the same time, I know that’s just in my head. I go in and out of feeling a bit anxious or apprehensive, other times I am focused on other things and feel better. It’s strange, I’m really busy working on my career and getting everything going. Networking, planning, creating. The only times I can I go out into nature though are when the clouds and sky look right. And I’m going out there with the sole purpose of getting something out of it. I’m doing it for me, so in a way, I don’t think I’m truly benefitting from nature as much as I could. What I mean to say is that if I just walked along a beach or through a forest, without any expectations, without needing to get a great photograph, I think it would nurture my spirit and console me. I think I would absorb its power and essence a lot more if I just took it all in and stayed present with it. Using my senses only, letting go of my thoughts, feeling and listening to what is around me. No planning ahead, or resenting this or that person, no thinking about instagram or facebook, or who won the football game. In the world we live in today, and I know for me especially, this is an extremely hard thing to do.
There was something so beautiful I was reading about Taoism. How, so many people separate the things in the world. “Us” and “them.” “We” as the human race are different from “them” which is nature and animals and the like. But, in reality, we are the same. We are all beings created in this world. Yes, we have different forms and capabilities, but we truly are the same. And this is one of the most important things I have to remember when I’m out in the remote regions of nature, which truly are my favorite. The places where people won’t go, the places where people haven’t been yet. These are the places that have always had the most profound impact on me. And it’s in these places that I need to remember that the sands of an untouched dune, the cactus on the ground, the rock on the mountain, these objects are me and I am them.
I can use their power, all of their separate powers. I can be sturdy like the rock, and durable like the cactus and soft and gentle like the sand. I can go with the flow, as sand cascades down a large dune. These are traits I can incorporate into myself just by remembering that I also am the same being. We all have the sun and the moon in us, we all have chaos and balance, we all have light and dark. We have to get in touch with these dynamic opposites and accept them and be completely at peace with them. And that is when we will flourish. I haven’t even come close to reaching my full potential, but I truly believe that if I keep incorporating these beliefs and ideas into my thinking and my way of life, I will be able to MOVE MOUNTAINS. I know I can. I just know it. I’ve felt that power before. It doesn’t happen often, but I’ve never forgotten about those moments. They will stay with me forever, even in the times where I’ve felt horrible and worthless, those memories are still there, just below the surface. And even when I can’t barely feel them, there is a knowingness about them. A knowingness that I have more power than I ever could have imagined.